This would account for the small heap of twisted bits of staple size scrap metal lurking around your desk and also help solve the mystery of the depleting band aid supply.

OK I'll bite. What is the correct way to use your stapler?

Yeah I'm with Andy... IS there a wrong way to use a stapler?

After a hard days surfing Simon likes to sit back and print out the accumulated porn collection (his last HDD gave up the ghost and died with a smile). After printing his collection it becomes obvious that a normal staple ain't gonna cope so several hours more are spent pursuading the poor thing to accept the new industrial size ones. You get the picture.

Libel! Libel I say!

(I might point out that we only have black and white printers here. Dan tells me that these are no good for printing porn, for which the colour pink is particularly important.)

I was, I gather, loading the wrong size of staple. Though the staples I was loading worked after a fashion, frequently you'd get mangled-staple syndrome. I just thought that it was a crap stapler. But no - pilot error. And there was me thinking that there was nothing to them. Bah!

Why you would want to spend hours trying to get two staples dead centre of the image I don't know. Just nip down to the local news agent, it's a lot less hassle.

Hmmm... while I've been out beating my brain on tricky consultancy problems, I can see that you guys have been REALLY busy! Grumble, mutter, swear...

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