July 23, 2003
Proof of the existence of God

Over Three Hundred Proofs of Godís Existence

(1) I can conceive of a perfect God.
(2) One of the qualities of perfection is existence.
(3) Therefore, God exists

(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

Some more of my favorites:

(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

[1] Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
[2] Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
[3] Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
[4] You win!
[5] Therefore, God exists

I've had this one for real:

(1) How could God NOT exist, you bozo?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

(1) I once experienced something I can't explain.
(2) Atheists offer several possible, natural explanations.
(3) You're just guessing! I was there.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

(1) I am an idiot.
(2) Even an idiot can see that God exists.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) Atheists just haven't truly felt God's presence yet.
(2) If they had ever felt God's presence, they would not be atheists.
(3) Theists have truly felt God's presence.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

Via As Above.

Update: Also, via fundamental atheism, The Brick Testament.

Posted to Funny by Simon Brunning at July 23, 2003 05:07 PM

From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed at the next zebra crossing.

Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best-selling book, 'Well That About Wraps It Up for God.'

Posted by: Paul Boddie on July 24, 2003 09:13 AM

Another good one:

(1) I couldn't imagine not believing in God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

I've heard this one, too.

Posted by: Simon Brunning on July 24, 2003 05:35 PM

1. archeoligists have proven almost everthing in the bible true.
2. darwinism has been proved wrong over and over even by atheists.
3. Evolution is mainly founded under Darwinism. Thus Evolution is also wrong.
4. Darwin HIMSELF declared macro-biology a false teaching.
5. Just because i can not see God does not mean he does not exist. A fish can not see the sky thus the sky dosen't exist. I can not see the wind only feel it and see its effects. Does this mean the wind is not real only false?
6. Our morale being could not have come from the already proven wrong teachings of evolution and darwinism.

Posted by: Reilly Washburn on July 27, 2003 08:18 PM

1. No, it hasn't. Sources? (Ones that non-flakes consider reliable.)
2. Here, I know whereof I speak. This is utter bollocks. Darwinism (or rather Neo-Darwinism, a refinement of, and *not a replacement for, Darwinism) is still the gold-standard.
3. Uh, kinda. But see two above.
4. Don't know.
5. True - there is no proof of the non-existence of God. Just as there is no proof of his/her/whatever's existence.
6. Yes, it can. See the work of Stephen Pinker, Matt Ridley, and (sorry) Richard Dawkins.
7. Prove it.

Posted by: Simon Brunning on July 28, 2003 09:39 AM

Could God create a rock that he couldn't lift?

Posted by: Stevan Rose on July 28, 2003 03:15 PM

Ok, i don't think your trying to be seriuos or are you.Ok one more thing to add to ur page, look at john 3:13 there is prof that you don't go to heavan when you die.I have been a christain all my life and for some domb reason other christains seem to want to ignore that verse. So pretty much what their trying to say is that oh what God said there doesn't matter to me. So why should the rest of the bible mean anything to them? Please respond and tell me what u think, or are u just like the rest and choose to ingnore that verse

Posted by: Mike on October 29, 2003 12:49 AM

That douglas adams quote is one of my favourite.

And mike, I'm no expert on the matter, but from what I remember, don't christians believe that's Jesus' ascension was completely different to the usual route to heaven? Something about his body as well as his soul going up - maybe other christians interpret him saying only Jesus has ascended as meaning in that way. Just a guess anyway.

Posted by: Clare on October 31, 2003 09:54 PM

On the subject of does God exist...I don't see how people who do not believe in a higher power has any hope at all. and besides Science will never be able to truly explain every aspect of the universe. Granted Science is a wonderful gift to be able to have but it is only part of it. Scientists will never have all the answers. Some things will always remain a mystery and are to amazing and complex for our minds to understand. That to me is where God comes in. There has to be a higher power greater than human minds can understand. Because if not then what purpose of existance do we really have? And to what hope do we have in this life? There has to be more to this than just this life we are living. And I know science can explain what happens to people when we fall in love, but where does love come from why do we love so much? If it was just to make more people in the world then shouldn't we be just like say animals but no some people keep one person their whole lives. We are spiritual people as well as physical and no matter what anyone believes there has to be something else. The world is to beautilful and amazing not to be.

Posted by: Christina on December 22, 2004 09:33 PM

For me, as a Christian, the day I know every answer to every possible question will be the day I stop believing in God; becuase why would I worship a god that knows as much as me.

The greatest answer to an athiest question:

"I don't know, feel free to ask God when you die, and you'll have all eternity to think about how wrong you were."

Posted by: Marc on March 2, 2005 06:07 AM

Ah, threats. So, God's a thug now. Yup, that'll make me believe.

Posted by: Simon Brunning on March 2, 2005 09:20 AM

If god doesn't exist, how do you explain the Austin Allegro?

Posted by: flippetygibbet on March 29, 2005 07:53 AM

If you truly want proof of God, you'll find your way here. When life gets really hard and you find yourself saying, help me God, you want to have confidence that He's listening.


Posted by: Adam Ray on October 8, 2005 05:21 PM

this is what i believe, 2000 years ago there was no structure for people to live around, people would just do as they wish go around stealing peoples milk and killing each other with no sense of guilt, then one day a guy decided to create a rule book so that people will show some sort of order and will be able to be kept under control, this rule book is the bible its something that was created by someone to make others think that if they dont do what this rule book says and they dont live by the ten commandments then they will go to hell. i think this is all that the bible is, its just like law and order in countries now they create rules to keep people under control and back then they did this with the bible and god and somehow its gone on to be used by people all over the world and they now believe that the bible is the truth. religion is a lack of knowledge, people back then would blame natural disasters like earthquakes or a hurricana as an act of god because they were not intelligent enough to realise that there is a rational and scientific explanation for strange events that happen, for example a few 100 years back we use to burn witches for ridiculous reasons because we thought it was paranormal when it actually wasnt there was an explanation for it, but at the time no one knew this and blamed strange things on witches and that is all that the bible is too its showing a lack of knowledge. religion, god, jesus, the bible these were all made by some bloke a villiage cos he decided that he was sick n tired with that man next door keep stealin his chickens, his answer? create the bible n tell him if he steals he goes to hell. the end

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