Elvis Detector
The First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis
Elvis shot J.F.K.
"From: I could tell you@forward1.us.inter.net, but I'd have to kill you.@surecom.com
To: E-mail: nbonaparte@jokewallpaper.com
Subject: Elvis/Kennedy Similarities
I've been digging around in the online references and have found some startling similarities between John Kennedy and Elvis Presley. Let me illuminate you...
John Fitzgerald Kennedy has three names.
Elvis Aron Presley also has three names.
Both names are, amazingly, comprised of consonants AND vowels.
Kennedy was born in 1917, and died in 1963.
Elvis was born in 1935, and died in 1977.
All 4 years have EXACTLY 4 digits.
Kennedy was 'The President'.
Elvis was 'The King'.
Kennedy commanded a PT-Boat in the Pacific for the Navy.
Elvis drove a truck in West Germany for the Army.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
Lincoln was the name of the President during the Civil War.
During the Civil War, there was Colonels.
'The Colonel' was the nick-name of Elvis's manager, Tom Parker.
Kennedy married a woman named Jacqueline Bouvier.
She later remarried a Greek named Onassis, one of the richest men in the world.
Elvis married a woman named Priscilla Beaulieu.
Their daughter married a geek named Jackson, one of the richest uh... PERSONs in the world. Jackson was also Greek... at heart. (i.e.: he liked little boys)
Kennedy approved the 'Bay of Pigs' invasion.
Elvis regularly invaded Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Kennedy's face is stamped into the American Half-Dollar.
Elvis's face is tatooed on some white-trash woman's fat ass in Mississippi.
And the most startling coincidence of all...
Kennedy died in DALLAS.
Elvis died on the TOILET."
From Elvis shot J.F.K. - brilliant!
And all this from the first page of links!
Posted to Funny by Simon Brunning at June 11, 2002 03:58 PM